Tuesday, 26 January 2010


They must have called in every available number bigger than zero they could get their hands on and torpedoed every number less than zero within three months spitting distance. Then shuvved the exotic instrument through some sort of arbitrage and derivative swap before pulling space time apart using the theory of large numbers, spilling raven’s blood and screaming at the moon under water, before giving birth to the bastard final figure of an incubus’ night emission and even then the foul creature only just scraped into our reality.

0.1% is the shadow if a 4D double dip depression somewhere in the time vaults of the Treasury's First Lord’s underpants.

We do not believe it, do not want to go there and do not want to have anything to do with their lying crap ever again.

You watch, the figures will be revised down after a month or two as the unreality vortex breaks up.

Though of course by then the election will be over.

I remember in 2007-8 when unsolicited emails would arrive in my inbox telling me I had a credit card from some Floridian Bank or other and I could have it RIGHT NOW!!! No paper work no questions asked. 10,000 bucks waiting to be blown right away. That must have turned up in the GDP figures as dynamite growth, eh Mandelbrot? I suppose wandering around setting up people parking their cars is a really cutting edge business model then, I’ll bet a GDP of trillions would still be boasted off as a great beacon to humanity if we all became licenced thieves and penalty parkers on the innocent and elderly, eh Gordon? Phoning people up and scamming their credit card details with unfulfillable promises counts as something that our fellow members of the G8 cast envious eyes at, eh Alistair?

Very soon the international bailiffs will turn up at UK plc and drag away our goods and chattels.

Get ready for the BOGSlife, no hospitals, no education, no street lights, no civil control, no food, no heat, and no sanitation.

And that’s my optimistic view after watching the Mandelbrot Set slithering like a deflating pneumatic Slitheen on C4 snoos this evening.