Wednesday, 24 February 2010

The Story of Gordon Brown

Finally released after a period of 75years the truth can be revealed at last.

From the UK Public Record Office February 24th 2085.

“In 2007 Gordon Brown became UK Prime Minister, a well known media relations twitterer. On his first day in No10, his staff watched Brown go through a transformation into another person, this one cruel and cold; but the mood passed. The next evening, however, the cruel mood returned, then again faded away.

Brown was also plagued by insomnia, and No10 got Mandelbrot to come back from Europe and hypnotise their boss, opening up a Pandora’s box. Gordon had apparently had an abusive induction in the Scottish Labour Party, and had developed an alter ego named Dennis.

During hypnosis Gordon also revealed his contact with a “Dr Greenspan,” his regular hypnosis sessions with him, and the injections he had given him of what he had called “vitamins.” He spoke of having to sign a government security oath, training in espionage work that he had undergone at a CIA camp, and his experiences as a split-personality trouble maker, manipulated through hypnosis and drugs, and plying his twilight trade under a number of pseudonyms, like Second Lord of Bantustan, First Lord of Totally Fucked and the best one PM gone AWOL. He also recalled being tortured with electric shocks by Federal Reserve men over the contents of one of the Red Boxes he carried.

Gordon Brown spoke of being one among several CIA zombies who were tortured at CIA headquarters in Langley Virginia. Although his memory from that period had been blanked Mandelbrot clearly remembers episodes when Gordon would spring upright out of sleep and shout random names like Balls, Bananaboy and weirdest of all Angela.”

With apologies to the memory of “Long John” Nebel by way of Jim Keith