Monday, 1 March 2010

Jambalaya and Goulash Soup

Found myself just up the road in Barnet yesterday parked in a restaurant celebrating a friend’s Bidet. I sat opposite a chum with whom I’d had a good old chin wag Burns’ night. Not much new to catch up on but we did say very similar things at almost the same time.

I recalled having said to cider swilling mate of mine way back that no one would notice the waves of rent seekers being dumped in the country so long as “full” employment was steaming along keeping everyone too dog tired to do anything but slave and drop from fatigue.

She said, being a damned saucy Colleen, that now the economy was fucked the paras would come out to play. Sitting to her left was another mate of ours an Ex-Para and he knew exactly what she had said. The armed sectarian gangs in NI would be active again.

Now that the streets are full of people chasing the sole remaining vacancy, pile cream and rectal thermometer tester, we have time to reflect on and notice the things we are not supposed to.

One of my favourite hobby horses here in Barnet is the gangs of legalised thieves that swan around in silver vans fitting up the locals. Plotting and planning in the air conditioned and climate controlled comfort of their parked up mobile office, usually in the middle of a car park causing mayhem, whilst the rest of the borough freezes or drowns or boils depending on the actual weather not forecast by the ever pampered and preened Met Office, more about those slobs later. The lads that if not sitting in the nice big shiny silver vans are to be found standing on street corners chatting to their mates on their mobile phones or once again grouped in connivance and knavery giving each other cover stories on some poor slob who they’ve just fleeced.

So called parking control operatives. We are not supposed to notice that not one of them comes from the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland but were specifically imported to this country with the express objective of lifting as much money from the locals as they could for the companies that paid our so called representatives at local and national level to write laws allowing this theft under the guise of “improving” our lives.

There was a load of specious propaganda piped into our living rooms about a community that had its immigrants removed and the locals given the “opportunity” to do the remaining “jobs”. Sort of serves you racist feckless white trash right for being lazy bustards with expectations above your station subtext.

My mate Ram, the putative porn star, apart from being the most evil man on earth and originator of the famous quotable “INCOMING!!!!!!! You’ve no idea how much hard work it takes to be truly evil” years ago when we were stealing peoples money over the phones, quite legally of course, would often try and get me to invest in slash and burn prawn farms.


Well the young Sri Lankan lads that worked the kitchen in his restaurant would all live thirteen to a room, never spend, never learn a word of English, never go out unless there was a religious reason, work every hour they could, send all their savings home to invest in prawn farms and get a return of 1000% percent guaranteed within 6 months. After five years here in UK “contributing” to our diversity and the lads would head for home and park themselves in a lovely big house with marble flooring and all mod cons all paid for by sweating away in Ram’s kitchen.

Now I ask you what is the UK racist feckless wilfully ignorant white trash going to get after a life time toiling in the fields then? Gordon’s death tax!

So with all this informing our chin wagging yesterday what can we say at this point about the future of UK plc?

1. They might have to do a Galtieri on us. That is sad that we might actually fall for the old dictator in a bind malarkey.
2. There is a strong possibility that with the new clamp down on reporting “Royal” gettings up to that they might be about to abscond overseas.
3. There is nothing in the country to do apart from tell lies and spy or tax farm.
4. The white trash is to be left to die off on the vine. Just watch how much offshore charitable/foundation money gets pumped into the recent arrivals when the economy really tanks once the next mega wave of bank failures hits town.
5. There will be no hospitals, no schools, no police, no fire service, no ambulances nothing once the next wave of “change” is rolled out after it becomes apparent just how barrasic we really are.
6. We will have our organs stolen via the agency of the NHS if we are not careful.
7. Who gets the blood that we give for free to the NHS?

I also clocked Monty Don, of the unusually large feet and small body, giving it specious propaganda on Frigtag evening. Monty if your mates get their AWG scam up and running the blacksmith won’t be able to light a fag never mind forge iron. Did you calculate the old craftsman’s global fart print whilst you were at it? See point 3 above.

Oh I almost forgot. The weathermen, no not the terrorists from NW Uni in Chicago and Barry’s bestest mates, the guys who swan all over our telly getting paid a fortune and rolling knee deep in bonus money. Their job is to red line the country into kill zones, they couldn’t give a fuck about forecasting unless it’s to jump on a scam like “global warming” so they can rip us off for even more cash.

More grousing later.