Friday 20 May 2011

Attention all Sea Gypsies and Nomads de Mer…

….pile on in.

Image source.

Get your sandy arses over here pronto.

There is nothing to stop you.

If the aboriginals here even lift an eyebrow in your direction they will get locked in the slammer for infringing your human rights and acting in the threatening manner. The cops here have gone internationalist religioKriminal ganksterbankster Gulag archipelago Kaganovitch. They will do anything their unthinking response and reflex MKUltra’d brainwashing Manchurian candidate training will require of them without compunction. They hate the aborigianls. They've gone total Common Purpose as opposed to Common People.

You guys are quids in. Just make sure you DO NOT look in anyway British. The weirder your attire the better. Wear dolphin skin hats, shuv brillo pads up your arses and strike matches from your tits. That should get you some sort of UN ethnicity warranty and diversity cover. You will be bullet proof.

Just drop me a comment here and indicate which beach you intend arriving at. No sweat. Choose any beach you want. They are all open. Just don’t lift any drift wood. That is Crown property. I’ll meet you with a fleet of coaches, Soros will pay once I outline the plan though of course he won’t know about the cunning and devious bit, tsk tsk, and we can then set about filling every slammer in the country with banged up Celts and Anglo-Saxons.

Once we have achieved part one of my cunning and devious plan we’ll head for the most useless gaff in the country. A house full of inept muppets. The occupants are demonstrably a waste of space. They are an occupying power.

There you can defecate all over the garden and piss on every useless previous occupant pictured on the stairway. Remember all the fuzz will be processing millions of native scum. It will be a cake walk.

Remember there will be no one to touch you because

1) You are protected by UN human rights charter and can do as you like. The filth will have their hands full and the cells chocka.

2) I’ll get Matrix Chambers on standby, where their top slot gobbed gobshite will be pleased to pocket shuvvell loads of lucre to protect your precious EUSSSR given rights.

3) By this point the Celts and Anglo-Saxons will be going skrypto and retaking their country from the Venetian vagabonds and their EUSSR commie crypto cousins. No one will notice or care.

Finally I want you to use your world renowned tracking skills to hunt down a perp that has gone missing. Once we’ve found him we are going to make him wear a house maids uniform and introduce him to, the by now clawing at the walls, ex IMF head honcho in a locked room with a gay bomb set to go off at the first mention of endogenous growth theory!

Love and bullets.

PS Bring gold.

PPS Don’t drink the local water.

PPPS You couldn’t pick up some fresh tuna on the way?